My son was home sick yesterday.
A random fever came on. No other symptoms. For him, the only difference between yesterday and a normal day was the 4-hour nap he took in the morning. After he woke up, the fever had broken, and he was back to himself…lots of stream-of-consciousness-talking and bouncing around the house asking for snacks (man, boys can eat).
I find myself loving these kinds of days. Is that bad?
The world stops turning for a few hours, and I’m in a reality that only includes me & my baby cuddled in bed. I get to feel his warm, steady breath against my skin…hear the occasional snore…look at his perfect profile and smell his clean curly hair that I still wash with baby shampoo even though he’s 4 (he’s my last kid, ok). I’m reminded at how fast they grow up, how fleeting life is when I’m busy and distracted, but how very beautiful these small moments are.
I really wish it didn’t take a day at home sick for me to realize I have a longing for something missing or for me to have an epiphany of appreciation for my son, for the gifts in my life and for the importance of slowing down to enjoy it all.
I guess you could say I get homesick for days at home sick.
Silly right? How could I relish in my kids being sick just so I can have these moments? Maybe it is just this one-dimensional, but I think, at least in part, it’s a sign of something deeper going on in me.
How many times do we busy ourselves with things that don’t matter and find ourselves overwhelmed, anxious and desperate for an escape? How many hours do we spend mindlessly scrolling through lives that aren’t our own just to find that another day’s been wasted with the ones we love? How many small moments with God have we passed by because we’re catching up from distracted living?
We’re sick. Just sick. Maybe it’s just a fever. Maybe it’s more than that.
When I self-reflect, I think I’m mostly homesick for connection, feeling something with some one or some thing. I think we all are. While it’s easy to bury this need for interaction under the false connection of “purpose” that “busy-ness” provides, we can’t hide for too long before this very real homesick feeling, this need for connection comes screaming for attention.
My prayer for you (and for myself) is that we are conscious of these moments with God and people and real purpose before we’re laid out in bed, unconscious and barely functioning. That we walk in humility and appreciation for the gifts and the relationships in our lives. That we walk with God before things have to get messy – that we develop a history with Him, a life of sustainable faith from a place of rest, not of chaos.
And that when we screw up, we know where to turn…to the warm, open arms of a Father who loves just being with us while we heal. He’s a Father who wants to lay down with us, slow us down a little and remind us of what matters.
Let’s posture our hearts toward gratitude for every good gift in our lives and for the lessons we learn from tough seasons. Let’s be an intentional people who refuse to allow false connection to weave its web in our hearts, a people known for our ability to stay the course of true connection because our hearts are postured in this place of gratitude and truth. And then let’s see what happens to our relationships with God and people, to our life purposes…to our very physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. I have a feeling it will be good…very good.
Over the next months, we’ll be discussing topics around spiritual formation and practices, and how to live a sustainable faith while CONNECTED to our source, the bread of life. We hope you’ll join us on our faith journey. Let it start here – in gratitude, a renewed desire for connection, self-awareness and God-awareness.
QUESTIONS TO MEDITATE ON:
What are you “home sick” for?
What are you “homesick” for?
What are some ways you can connect with yourself, God, your spouse, kids, friends, coworkers, etc., this week?
How does gratitude position you for breakthrough?
Where do you find connection most difficult? Easy?
What are false connections you’ve hooked yourself to?
What are some outward evidences of internal chaos in your life?
Featured Photo by JOHN TOWNER